As the old saying goes, “you catch more files with honey than with vinegar.” Colloquially, this means you’ll get further with those you wish to influence by being sweet and attractive rather than sour and bitter. This goes doubly for those dealing with addiction.
When navigating something as emotionally charged as addiction, our words can either build bridges or reinforce suffering. Addiction is not a moral failing. It is not a weakness of character. It is not who someone “is”. It is a disease, just like diabetes or AIDS. The language we use, even language that is casual, can cause those living with substance use disorders to turn away from help.
When speaking about addiction, we must speak differently. We need to listen more. And we need to understand that how we talk about addiction matters, and can literally save lives.
Why Language Matters In Addiction Treatment
The words we use affect how people see themselves. It also affects whether or not they feel safe asking for help or even discussing their problems. Using language like “addict” or “junkie” reinforces shame and stigma that surround drug use in our current culture.
Even using casual phrases like “clean” and “dirty”, commonly used to describe sobriety or drug and alcohol use, imply a moral judgment. This distinction is subtle, but can be important for reaching those who are struggling.
When someone we love has an addiction or is “experiencing addiction” the language we use can make the difference in them opening up and seeking treatment or remaining closed and attached to their addiction.
Speaking Differently About Addiction to Reduce Stigma
When speaking about addiction and speaking to those with addiction, it’s best to use language that sees the whole person rather than paints them entirely as their addiction. Some examples:
Instead of “He is a drug addict” you can use “He’s living with a substance abuse disorder.”
This type of language affirms the humanity of the person being referred to, while also noting addiction is not a moral failing, but a “disorder”, a medical term.
Let’s try another one. Instead of, “she finally got clean” try, “she’s no longer using.” “Clean” and “dirty” have moral connotations, while the latter phrase is accurately describing the situation.
One thing to note, those who abuse alcohol and those who have become addicted to drugs often refer to themselves as “sober addicts” even if they have not used substances for many years. This kind of language supports the idea that these are diseases that need constant management and care rather than temporary moral failings.
The Weight of Addiction Shame
These subtle shifts in language aren’t just semantics. They represent a shift in perspective.
Shame is one of the most powerful barriers to healing. Many people delay seeking addiction treatment not because they don’t want help, but because they feel undeserving of it or they feel society and their loved ones will judge them for seeking this help.
Shame isolates, and isolation feeds the cycle of addiction. When we treat addiction as a disease rather than a moral failing, it becomes easier to recognize the deep emotional pain many people carry with addiction. When we recognize the pain these diseases cause, we can meet them with empathy instead of blame.
This is perhaps the main key to effective recovery. When the weight of shame is lifted, recovery can begin. Of course, treatment must be underlined by medical science and rigor, but shame and the psychology of addiction must be taken into account as well. You need both sides to treat the whole individual.
Effective Addiction Intervention
These techniques for removing the burden of shame and using language carefully are essential for effective interventions.
Interventions are structured meetings designed to encourage someone who is struggling with addiction to get help. In contrast to how they are sometimes portrayed in mass media, the best interventions are not pyrotechnic or dramatic confrontations, but are rather carefully planned out of concern for a loved one’s wellbeing.
During these conversations, as well as less-structured informal conversations with loved ones, language is key in reaching past shame and touching the person you love. When speaking to someone about their addiction, try:
- Speaking from a place of true love, rather than control
- Use “I” statements, such as “I feel hurt when you do XYZ”
- Avoid blame or shame
- Be prepared to listen (this is extremely important)
- Offer clear support
- Have professional addiction treatment research done before the conversation happens
One thing you should weigh if planning an intervention: consider hiring an experienced intervention specialist to help you plan and execute the intervention. They will know everything you need to know about creating an atmosphere for success, including what kind of language is best used to reach people profoundly.
Talking To Someone About Addiction? We Can Help
If you or a loved one is experiencing addiction, one of the best decisions you can make is by seeking out professional help. Addiction is ‘cunning, baffling and powerful’, as they say. Your best starting point is with professional support and guidance.
If you have any questions about how to speak to those experiencing addiction or treatment options, give The Living Room at Princeton a call at (732) 327-1066